Scoop handed the money to the mole. As they walked along, the sun began to rise again.
"So, how can we get to Father Time?"
"We'll go by my Fridgerocket."
"Sounds good."
They hopped in and sped off into the universe, but unknown to them, an oddly clever Perrywinkle followed in another Fridgerocket.
He went through the computer deck and was about to go into the sleeping quarters, which actually doubled for a medical ward - which was unfortunate, for when he went in, he was instantly hit with a tranquilizer, and feel asleep right away.
"Yes?" he asked.
"We need you to change stuff."
"Oh. Goodbye."
"No, you've got to, or the universe is doomed."
"Mother Nature's problem."
"But-"
"Are you trying to help Mother Nature?"
"Yes."
"Then you shall die."
"WAIT!" said Perrywinkle arriving behind. "No one kills my son but me."
"Alright, allow me to prove you wrong and kill all three of you."
The mole, shouting obscenities randomnly, caused a bit of confusion, but not much. That was just a detail that was necessary.
Scoop shovel kicked Father Time, who wasn't really pleased with what was going on. As Perrywinkle provided the fart of death, everything seemed a complete haze. It seemed certain that no one would survive, but Father Time turned back the clocks, reversing all damage done to him.
The three fighting him stared, shocked.
"You can't defeat me!" roared Father Time.
"He's right." said the mole dejectedly.
"No - we just have to find another way to get him." said Scoop.
Perrywinkle munched on a hamburger.
"We've got to save television." said Average.
"Yes..." mumbled all the other superheroes.
"So, what are we gonna do?" asked Average.
"Uh..." said Freaky Kid from outside on the ground, still twitching.
"Leave it up to you!" decided Unbelievable Man.
All the superheroes seemed to be in agreeance with this, when Gaslum came back on television.
"And now we'll be taking calls from... callers." he said, looking like he'd had a bucket of water dumped on him he was sweating so much.
Happy picked up the phone and dialed the number displayed on the screen.
"Hello." said Gaslum.
"OH MY GOD! I'M TALKING TO GASLUM!" screamed Happy. All the superheroes giggled.
"Yes, this is Gaslum."
"GASLUM! GASLUM!"
"Yes."
"Guys - what should I say?"
The others shrugged.
"Uh, Gaslum - is your refrigerator running?" asked Happy.
The superheroes fell on the floor laughing.
"Yes."
"THEN YOU BETTER GO CATCH IT! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
The superheroes were nearly popping a gasket they were laughing so hard. Fortunately, they didn't know what a gasket was, so they were unaware it could burst, and thus, it didn't.
"Yes. Well, are there any other callers?"
"Yeah - hi, this is Sober ScienceGuy."
"Hi, this is Gaslum."
"I know that, stupid."
Sober ScienceGuy was instantly mauled by the other superheroes for calling Gaslum stupid.
"Hi, this is Unbelievable Man."
"Hi, this is Gaslum."
"That's great. What can we do to help save television?"
"Well... let's tell them, Telephone Man."
Telephone Man stood proudly.
"Operator. What you can do is call the studio, our operators are waiting for your donation for quality programming."
"I mean the future of television." said Gaslum.
"Oh. Well, where are you, what's the era, and do I look good on television?"
"Uh," said Unbelievable "I think this is a house... it's like a giant mushroom. And we're not sure what year it is. And I would say that your choice of tights is terrible."
"Right. Well, you can't help much if I don't know what year it is. Goodbye."
The superheroes stared at Unbelievable Man.
"Who are you, and why don't you know the year?"
"Doesn't matter."
"Do we have any more callers?" begged Gaslum.
"Hi, this is Barbara. Is Charles there?"
"Next caller?"
"Hi this is Lactose Intolerant Man. We're in a mushroom house in the year 20003."
"20003?"
"20003. Remember, this is superhero present day."
"Right, well. Operator. Can you help save the day by going to the future and defeating the evil weatherpersons?"
"I guess. We're all kind of tired, though."
"I can get you free tickets!" cried Gaslum desperately.
"Consider it done." said Lactose Intolerant Man. All the superheroes remained in the same house, but they were now billions of millions of years in the future. A giant weather station hovered above.
Jumping off his bed, he exited the room conspicuously, everyone noticing his leaving, but no one seemed to care.
Once inside the radio control room, he looked left and right. It looked like there needed to be two operators for this broadcast to work. He had to find another person, or at least a replacement person of some sort to control the radio waves while he spoke.
Perrywinkle took a final bite of his hamburger, and his arteries toughened up some more. Licking his lips he said "I want to control the weather. That's all. I'm good at that sort of thing. If time ceases to exist, thanks to your watch, I can become immortal! HAHAHAHA! *choke* Oh, sorry, son - but can't have you getting in the way of dad's evil ploys!" laughed Perrywinkle as he ripped the Watch of Time out of Scoop's hands and flew away in a Fridgerocket.
"Wow." said Scoop "We're in trouble."
"I can't help you now... without my watch, I'm just Father."
"Yeah... but don't you have ANY power?"
"I was ordained by Cell to control time with that watch. Without the watch, I will soon cease to exist and the barriers of time will be ripped apart."
"How long will that take?"
"Forty three billion years."
"Oh. Who's Cell?"
"Cell is the only thing that keeps us in a state of remote sanity."
"Huh?"
"Before time had been invented, there was a bunch of shapeless masses that became what are known as GODDs; Great Omnipotent Demented & Damned. There were some who tried to increase the chaos, but there was a select group who chose to try and make sense of their chaos."
"Who were they?"
"Myself, Mother Nature, Old Man Winter, Jack Frost and a few select others. Our leader was Cell."
"So what happened to the others?"
"There was a great cataclysm that took place... it was so cataclysmic that no other word would suit it. We lead ourselves into a trap. One of the GODDs trapped Cell and attempted to rip him and his power in half. There are two universes. One is parallel to this one - the GODD tried to split Cell into both and then destroy half of him in each universe, thus destroying him forever. He put Cell in a room that was connected to both, but Cell held on. Cell hold the two universes in parallel. In one universe he forced all the chaotic GODDs, and in this one, those who were on his team. This is the universe that makes sense."
"I find that hard to believe."
"It's true. That's where Cell's name comes from. He's trapped in that cell that holds both worlds together. If he ever lets go, both the universes will be complete chaos and everything will cease to exist leaving everyone who stood for justice to suffer at the hands of the chaotic GODDs."
"Can he hold on forever?"
Father Time shrugged.
"With the Time Pretzel, who knows?"
"I guess... will you help me stop the man who took your watch, though?"
"I'm powerless without it."
"We have to get your watch back - you have to come."
"Well... alright. But if he's as powerful as you say, we'll need more help."
"Oh."
Suddenly a rush of cold air ripped around them, chilling them. A great mass of angry looking frosty air formed into an icy humanoid form. Followed shortly by an icy elf-looking thing.
"Old Man Winter? Jack Frost?" said Father Time astounded.
"That's right." said Old Man Winter.
"Mother Nature's angrier than ever. She's ripping apart some planets with volcanoes and stuff."
"That time of the month again?"
"No. She's becoming chaotic."
"That's impossible."
"Not so - if nothing controls time, everything becomes chaotic. We need you to harness time again."
"I... can't. My watch was stolen."
"WHAT?!"
"Yes, a crazy fat weatherman took it from me."
"Oh. Well that would explain this craziness."
"Yeah."
"We need to talk to Cell right away. If Mother Nature succumbs to chaos, this entire universe could be misaligned."
"Right. You, because we're um, too busy - you go try and calm Mother Nature down." said Father Time to Scoop.
"But, I..."
"Who's this?" asked Old Man Winter.
"I don't know." said Father Time.
"Uh, Scoop's the name." said Scoop.
"Oh, alright. Possibly the fate of the universe depends on you, Scoop."
"It usually does."
"Ah, then you should be used to it. Don't worry, we'll send Jack Frost with you."
Jack Frost poked his head out "I think I might know a way to calm her down, too!"
"Really?"
"Yeah - follow me! It's in the Dark Tower of Mean Ol' Mister Lightning. There's some Spa Cream and stuff."
"Alright. You take Scoop there. We'll go talk to Cell."
"Done."
The superheroes and GODDs flew across the universe to their respective areas. Scoop and Jack went inside the tower.
He walked into the Time Travel Computer Deck and asked Ping-Pong while indicating the Watch;
"What d'you think of this?"
"It's nice. What make is that?"
"Looks like Wristox... but it controls time."
"I didn't know they had those yet."
"Neither did I."
"Hm."
"Yeah, I can't figure out these codes."
He pointed to the first one: JTLM.
"J... T... L... M. Got it."
"What is it?"
"Four disconnected letters of the alphabet. Except for the L and M."
"Oh. But what effect will it have on time?"
"Who knows?"
"Alright... let's try the next one. JHOF."
"I got the same thing..."
"Hm..."
"Hey - look at how each row starts with different letters. J, P then K."
"Yeah! ... Yeah! Great observation! What does it mean?"
"Oh. I hadn't figured that out yet."
"Hm."
"Hey - look on the side."
"Huh?"
"Yeah... it's got three more inscriptions... JOPT, PPCT and KOFT. What does that mean?"
"I don't know. Maybe we should try one?"
"Yeah - do that."
Perrywinkle touched the 'JIPS' code, and watched as the clock turned back thirteen hours, but his surroundings did not change.
"Fascinating. Do it again."
Another thirteen hours.
"Again! Again!"
Another thirteen hours.
"Hercules! Hercules!"
"Shut up."
It seemed that the JIPS code for some reason or another set back time by thirteen hours, but did not change the surroundings of people.
This was interesting, decided Perrywinkle, and called Walrus Man over.
"Hey."
"Can you figure this out?"
"Nope."
"Alright... well, we'll have our technicians work on it. I also want a search party for Scoop. He's got to be stopped before he steals the watch from me and saves the universe."
"Right, boss."
"Cell?" called Father Time. No response. They continued through the building. The floor seemed to become more unstable and the surroundings darker.
Finally, they reached the area where Cell was. He was unrecognizable, though. His eyes were glazed and white, and he was roaring with obscene amounts of power, might, fury and agony. Lightning struck him every which way, but he did not let go of the chains stuck to opposing walls.
"Cell! There's been a tragedy!" said Father Time.
"Understatement... of... a... lifetime..." grunted Cell, clearly forcing out his speech.
"Well, yes... um, Mother Nature's going chaotic."
"...Ugh..." Cell strained for the first time in thirty years. "No wonder..." sweat trickled down his forehead.
"What? No wonder what?"
"The... bonds. Weaker."
"Well it seems a near eternity in here has not helped your grammar much."
Cell pulled harder on the chains.
"I'm... failing."
"I know that. Your english marks must be horrible."
"No. The chaotic universe... breaking free."
"What?"
"I said-"
"No, I heard you. It was a rhetorical 'What'... you know, just for the impact of it."
"Oh."
Suddenly, the wall to the chaotic universe opened slightly, and from the crack flew a winged diamond clear spirit demon. It took one look at the three, and charged at Cell.
Old Man Winter held it back with equal power. Father Time contributed what little he could to overpower it. The diamond beast flew out of the room and into the 'Sensical' Universe.
"It's breaking." gasped Old Man Winter.
"Understatement... of... the... minute..." choked Cell.
"Look - we're working on it, alright? You only have to hold on for another nine million years or so. We'll do what we can to fend them off."
"There is chaos loose in the sensical world." said Old Man Winter.
"We've got to stop it." said Father Time.
"Right. Let's find someone to do our dirty work."