Perrywinkle strode down the left tunnel until he reached what appeared to be toga-wearing porcupines playing poker. One looked up and smiled. "Well, well, well... we have a visitor."
"Does he got nuts or raisins?"
"Who cares?"
"Good point... you aren't one of them, huh?"
There was grass surrounding them.
"Well. Isn't that different." said Happy.
"This cave sucks." said Lactose Intolerant Man.
"Yep, it sure does." said Average.
The air seemed to get thicker and rush by faster. The asteroid seemed to be speeding up. It was also developing the chicken pox.
"So - what do we do now? I'm a Lactose Intolerant Guy stuck in Kmanman's body."
"Ditto..." thought the pig, shuddering slightly.
Cheap Shot shrugged, and decided that this cave was boring.
The heroes remained silent. They realized none of them knew the other one. They all backed up slightly. This was getting to be a real Mystery Story for Girls aged 7 to 10.
The asteroid began to shake violently, the superheroes all stared around wildly. The asteroid was now devloping large acne spores.
"Oh this is just unnecessarily disgusting." spat Sober ScienceGuy.
"It's looks better than you do." said Cheap Shot.
The superheroes were in a state of utter confusion. Happy McContemplation seized the moment, realizing panic was here, his power leaped into action.
"We should do something before this asteroid falls apart - or at the very least, pops a pimple! Quick! Think of something to do!" smiling broadly, he nodded and sat down again.
"Uh huh," said Average "So any ideas? Anyone? Anyone?"
"I've got as many as you do."
"Shut up and think."
"One of who?" he asked.
"Oh good, you're not one of them."
"Weclome," said another "I'm sure you're among friends."
Suddenly a young porcupine bounded in and shouted
"SIR THE M-18'S HAVE RECRUITED SUPERHEROES SIR AND THE SITUATION ISN'T LOOKING GOOD AND WE CAN'T MAKE ANYMORE FRIGIDAIRES BECAUSE OUR SOCKS AREN'T SELLING AS WELL AS THEIR TOGAS AND BOARDGAMES AND I'M OUT OF BREATH. SIR!"
then he collapsed, dead. Seeing this as an oppurtunity, Perrywinkle ate him.
"Right." said one of the porcupines angrily.
"What was his name?"
From inside Perrywinkle's belly came the noise "Scoop."
Perrywinkle roared. "SCOOP?!"
"I'm dead, stop talking to me."
"Sorry, now... you, mr. obese stranger, seem to know of this 'Scoop'."
"I'm gonna kill him."
"Good, good... we can help. Now, you can cause... fear, correct?"
"What? ARE YOU MESSING WITH ME?"
The porcupine scrambled to a corner.
"Excellent. You'll be perfect. If we get you this... 'Scoop' of yours, will you help our sales?"
"Hm..." he pondered, which was a rare thing for him, and thought 'easy passage to what's-his-face'.
"Done."
The plans were set. Neither knew what the other was getting into. The members of Operation Kill the Bad Guy were in more trouble than they could imagine.
Barber Boy prowled the street outside the tanker with a vengeance in his eyes. Nothing seemed to be amiss, so he began to shave his eyebrows. "Eyebrow..." he murmured softly.
Perrywinkle walked out and noticed him.
"Barbie Man! You're here too?"
"Who?"
"You!"
"I'm Barber Boy."
"Whatever, I'm the Boss, here, answer the question."
"Well, I got hired, see?" he smiled proudly.
"Great. The M-18's are MOLES."
"No way, dude."
"Yes way."
"No way."
"YES WAY!"
"NO WAY!"
Perrywinkle smacked Barber Boy.
"Fine. So they're moles, so what?"
"They've got that guy."
"Ping-Pong?"
"No the other one."
"SCOOP!"
"Sorry, don't have one." said the old knitting woman passing by with her grandchild.
Perrywinkle waited until they were out of sight.
"Yeah, he's joined them. This is our chance to catch him."
"I figured that out... where's Ping-Pong?"
"Right here." said a dark, disturbing voice from behind them.
"For a penguin, you do that awfully well." coughed Perrywinkle, swallowing his fear.
"No problem. I heard everything. Where are the M-18's?"
"I don't know. But we gotta find Scoop."
"Done and done." said a high-pitched, non-threatening voice. It was a porcupine.
"Where is he?"
"At their base. You can take our fridge car - we're not entirely sure of their location, though."
"Well that doesn't help much."
"Right, well whatever. Chow!" and the creature scrambled away.
"Okay... so we find Scoop and we bring him down, right?" asked Ping-Pong.
"Right." said Barber Boy.
"And then how do we get back to the future?" Ping-Pong further inquired.
"Right." said Barber Boy.
"That doesn't help. We've gotta find a way back to the future." said Perrywinkle.
"I already told you - in our time, the time/space continuum is turning into a giant salty pretzel."
"I know."
"No you don't!"
"What?"
"Nevermind."
"I won't."
"WAIT!" said Ping-Pong. "The M-18's probably know who we are. We'll have to get someone nobody knows to take down Scoop. Who do we know that we don't?"
There was some silent contemplation. Perrywinkle scratched himself and then belched.
"Hey - what about Walrus Man?" suggested Ping-Pong.
"Who?" asked Perrywinkle.
"Right! He's perfect. And he wants to be evil." said Barber Boy.
"Now how do we reach him?" asked Ping-Pong.
"So. Here's our plan. You've gotta go the market and steal people's money, and then we offer you moral support in your fight." said the mole.
"Sounds right." said Unbelievable Man.
"But wait... you've gotta get Perrywinkle alone so us three can put him to an end."
"Not part of the contract."
"WHAT?! Which of you idiots signed this?!" asked Scoop.
Unbelievable Man and Two Steps pointed at each other.
"Figures."
"No, it was a penguin." said a perplexed mole "He came up and seemed to know all about the M-18's... had us write the contract saying we wouldn't help you fight at all."
"Ping-Pong! You can't listen to him!" pleaded Scoop.
"A contract's a contract, kid."
The three heroes of Operation Kill the Bad Guy stared in fear at each other. They needed help. Fast
Looking pleased, he said to himself "Tell me about the bunnies."
Ping-Pong stared, shook his head, and then sat down against the wall. Barber Boy flipped out a knife.
The plot thickened.
All three then ran off aimlessly, leaving Perrywinkle safe for the moment. Suddenly, there was a small speck in the sky, just about on the third story of the building, a small rectangular paper began to float down at an incredibly slow pace. When it landed, at a closer inspection it had writing on it.
The day was becoming evening at a rapid pace, and the streets became colder. The toga people looked chilled. In the darkness, Perrywinkle could see a figure going through the crowd and grabbing shiny stones from people's toga pockets.
He looked back and forth cautiously. Darkness was setting in now. Scoop wouldn't be ready for anything. He chuckled softly to himself.
"Wunderbar..." he burped.